Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
it has been quite sometimes since I updated this blog. With the amount of travel I did this year, 6 international trips to 5 different countries in the first 5 months of the year, I just don't have the time or energy to update right now. Though I'm quite surprise to find that there are actually people who read this blog. I mean I literally thought I was the only one bore enough to read it. Not that it makes much sense or matters much to any one else anyway. Anyhow, I'm going to restart updating this blog, let's see if I can keep at it for at least sometime :)
posted by HELL at 12:18

 
D stayed overnight with me, we just cuddled in the sofa. It was quite a relaxing experience, other than the somewhat tough questions she asked :) Well, she's now officially my gf :) We cleared up some more ground rules, such as I'll have to retreat from C's affair (glad to do so), don't kill my liver (guess I'll have to drink less), and no more lap dancing (haven't done that since the last Bachelor party anyway). It was overall a pretty relaxing and enjoyable night. I love spending time with her. She told me that she had decided that she like me for more than a month now :) and that she really thought I was nice person and she haven't really been upset at me :). I too really enjoy her company and love to just chat with her all the times. Hopefully, this will mark the beginning of a beautiful relationship :) BTW, got to remember that our anniversary is 12/30.

posted by HELL at 08:00

 
Well, I guess this's the start of something different. I'm now dating D. Actually, I really do like her and I think it'll be a start of something great in my life.

So after watching "House of Flying Dagger" and then movie on Christmas day, we went to the Fairmont hotel to get something to drink and chat. After about an hour of chit chatting of various topics, we finally came down to the topics on hand - what we had being doing over the last few days, why am I so paranoid over things being said, and etc.. I told her that I thought that it felt like it's onset of dating over the last few days. I was being paranoid 'cause I didn't want her to still think that I had feeling for C. It's also because I had some hesistations due to the nature of my job. Too much traveling doesn't work wonders for a relationship. She told me that it was okay, that she understands and will accept it as long as I keep in contact. She was quite upset over the fact that we had a great time in SF last Saturday and then I disappeared for 3 days w/o dropping a line. For that I apologized and told her that was because I needed to be away and everything. And for the part of Chicago, I told her I was trying to be a nice friend and felt some sort of obligation toward C and her parents. Sigh... I told her that I'm not that stupid and won't again stick my neck out for her while she never even appreciated it. She told me that she's upset about the fact that it felt like at the moment's notice, I'll drop everything and run to her. I assured her that it won't happen again and I'll definitely talk to her the next time if anything remotely similar happens, not that it'll happen again. She likes me for the fact that I'm such a nice guy and gentlemen. Her feeling changed for me when we were in Mendocinno and I was covering her with the umbrella and carrying stuff for her, in general treat her the way a gentlemen should do. She also really enjoys the fact that she could tease me quite a bit without worry of me getting mad. More importantly, I'll put up a weak defense of the teasing so that she can enjoy the teasing even more so :) I too enjoy letting her tease me 'cause I know that she had no bad intention after then to just have fun. And also it give me an opportunity to tease her as well. As she was cuddling me with me and playing around with my forearm, I felt very peaceful and relaxing. Though it did felt a bit heavy to have a person leaning most of her weight on me, but it's a small price to pay for some peaceful time. I told her that I felt my feeling changed when we were driving back from Mendocinno and she fed me beef jerky. Though I know that I had some vague feeling for her before, it was really over the several trips we took in the month of August/September that I really started to have stronger feeling for her. I just needed to confirm that she had feeling for me as well before I talk to her. Of course, there was that little thing from the fortune teller about the fact my true relationship should start next year. But I guess I'm just a month or two ahead of schedule :P

It was just so nice to sit there, have a sip of drinks, chatting with her about anything, holding her in my arm, feeling the warmth of her body, having her little hand play around with my hand/arm, and enjoying each other's company. We did that for great many hours 'til the janitor started vaccuming the carpet of the lounge area around 2:30am. I held her in my arm while we walked back to the car. Also gave her a long hug before saying goodbye. I was happy but the same time very tired from staying out late over the last 3 nights. But at least I finally resolve the issue with her and hopefully we're onto better things. Guess now it's time to notify our friends. So far only sis and one other friend knew about the relationship, but I do intend on letting others know about. I also know of my task on-hand, got to go meet her friends too. I'm sure that'll be something fun to do :P Another thing is that I'll have to plan to spend more time with her, which I'll find it from the time I spend with C. I know D has a problem with C, both that she wants to make sure that I'm absolutely over with C and she doesn't like any one who cheats. Well, guess there'll be no dinner between the two ladies any time soon.

She got me a nice wallet, as she promised. That's one thing I truly love about her, she actually fulfill her promises, unlike someone I knew. Looks like I'll have to change wallet now. I wonder if that's a sign of abandoning the old (my old wallet were Christmas gift from C two years ago) and on with the new. I'm going to get her defense driving course. Just a bit worry with her driving style :P

Oh, one more thing, her birthday is on April 17th, I hope I'll be back from Beijing by then. Really do want to spend time with her on her day. Need to talk to my boss after the break. Another thing, Valentine is on Monday and I'll have to see if I'll even be in town to celebrate with her. Sigh... That's why all the travel with my job just make relationship difficult to maintain.

Well, this blog will change its focus from now on. I'm going to talk about D lot more, and I do mean lot more, than any one else. I really cares for her and want to spend more time with her. Just don't feel pressure or the need to act when I'm in front of her, I can share as much of myself as possible.

posted by HELL at 17:15

 
I know it's been a while that I posted. Lots of stuff had happen over the last few weeks and life had been just too hectic as of late. Here's what I wrote for the beautifu Lady D on her Christmas card.

Dear Lady Diana

Thank you for being a great friend over the last year. You were there to cheer me up when I was down, invite me to your outings when I complained of doing nothing but work, and calm me down when I’m upset about work/personal life. I’m very grateful for all your supports. Hmm, I hope this doesn’t make me sound girly, not to be sexist and all J

I was looking back at some of the first email exchanges we had over the last December, I realized that we only know each other barely over a year. Yet, I felt like you have become one of my best friends and someone that I can share my secret, joy, and sorrow with. Wayne may be jealous of that :P (little face with tongue out, not an artist by any stretch of imagination). This has been a very eventful year for the both of us. I’m not the best one with words, written or spoken, but I really do enjoy your company, especially over the last few months, and hope that we’ll become even better friends in the future J
Hopefully my work travel will be more limited next year so we can go on some more exciting trips to new places. With the trusty GPS system in my car, I promise we won’t get lost J

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
- Mello Kitty
(aka Adam)

posted by HELL at 13:29

 
Sigh... She's spoiled and self-center as ever, then again what's new. She'll never understand how much her action hurts other who're involved. Then again, it doesn't help when I'm too weak to stand up to her and let the truth be told. Sigh... Now it'll get worse. She's going to tell her parent about the husband during my visit there. She's baiscally using me as a shield to protect herself from the anger of her parents. Once again, I'm there to protect her from harm but at the same time remove her from the facing the responsibility of real life. She'll never understand how much I did for her. Oh well, it won't last forever. I'm shifting my interest to D. At least I felt like I'm treated fairly and nicely when I delt with D. Hopefully next year I'll be doing better, it's being three years since I being under her spell. It's time for me to move away. Remember, three is a charm :) Hope she won't be hurt by the truth of reality when I'm not there to protect her anymore.

posted by HELL at 03:54

 
She'll do what she wants. I'm just going to be there for her if she needs my help. Other than that, I'm going to limit what I do for her as much as possible. She asked today that if I will tell people about what she had being telling me, especially she pisses me off. I told her that I won't and there really isn't anything she could do to piss me off more compare to what she had done to me in the past already. So if I haven't betray her yet there's no reason for her to think that'll betray her in the future. Sigh... I don't know what brought up this line of questions from her nor do I care all that much. My guess is that she's being pressure on my upcoming trip to Chicago so maybe she's consider how much she can push without me falling over the edge. Sigh... I guess the one thing she know is that she can totally take advantage of my feeling for her. Oh well, I chose the road so I'll have take the pit fall along with it.

Oh, I did went to have dinner with D last Friday. We went to see the Fantasy light show at some park in Los Gatos first. Of course, there's the usual bathroom incident where she requests immediate access to one :) hehe... Dinner was nice and we had a great conversation as always. I really should think about making a move on her at some point. Take a shoot and see what happens. The only thing is that I'm a bit worry that if she doesn't have the intention, will it damage our great friendship or not. Sigh... 'tis the dilemma.

posted by HELL at 06:53

 
Why am I so up in arm about the cancellation of lunch? It's so typical of her anyway. She never considers my feeling, so what's new? Sigh... It's the theme of the this blog for the last two years, I just need to stop doing it over and over again.

posted by HELL at 01:49