Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
OK, after idiot Sony Clie lost a good portion of my journal from 11/3 to 12/6, I had decided to move everything here. It doesn't matter to me if anybody reads this or not, but I just want to record how I feel about this one girl that I'm madly in love (not sure about how madly yet) from work. It's been many many years since I felt this strongly about someone. This journal shall only contain the truth, and only the truth, so help me god. So many people lied to others and themself that they couldn't tell what's reality and what's fantasy anymore. I admit that sometimes I felt right in the same catogory as them. So I'm just as big of a loser as everybody else in this world.

Over the next few days, I'll upload what's left of my journal on here. It'll contain all my real feelings. Except I'll have to omit names so I don't get harassed in real world:)

Just a quick introduction of this girl. She works in the same company and same division as me, but we never work on the same project or side-by-side before. Usually I'm the one who goes over to her workplace and hang out and keep her company (at least I hope that's how she feels). I admit that she not the cuttest, prettiest, or the best figure girl I know, she's doesn't have the nicest personality, she isn't a millionair's daughter, nor is she treating me better than her other guy friends (at least I didn't notice any difference). She doesn't fit really into my ideal of a woman that I'll love. However, I had very strong feelings toward her. Pathatic me, I didn't have the guts to ask if she have a boyfriend or not. This is what happens when you spend that last 7 years thinking that you're above huge emotional swing by staying away from any possible relationships (trying to be like Vulcan is tough on your social life). Being a Libra, I was too logical, and analyze everything before taking any chances. And now I realized that a lot of time there is no logical explanation in human relationship. The more I see of the world and the more I see of people, the more convince I am of fate. Sometimes, fate determines everything. Fate is not just a simple concidence but more of right moment w/ the right setting w/ the right people w/ the right mindset w/ the right history. So much variables controlling it that it's beyond any possible human calculations or analysis. Einstein is wrong when he said "God does not place w/ dice" (or something to that effect). God not only place w/ dice, but he as much of a gambler as any gambling addict in Las Vegas. Ok, time for me to go to sleep, I'll update this tomorrow evening and decide who I should send invitation to view this blog.
posted by HELL at 01:38