Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Had an interesting discussion with her over dinner. First of all, it's one of those rare moments where she actually ask me if I want to have dinner w/ her. I think that happened 4 times over the last 14 months that I knew her. So it's definitly somewhat of a surprise for me. Then, the discussion just got very interesting. It started off with me talking about my friend's attempt to get the girl he love to go out for some pearl tea. Then we started discussing about relationship and she's like an advisor to her guy friends 'cause she knew and understand how a girl would act (she's girl:), then she got very excited (not in a good way) over discussion of Christian practice. BTW, she doesn't goto church. She told me how she went to bible study group for undergrad and grad. How the conservative (practice by the book) Christian would pray and pray and there will be not actual dating and stuff. She proclaim that she knew all there is to know about how the Christianity work in terms of marriage and dating and related stuff. It just so interesting. The way she acted show me a side of her that I rarely see. She's revealing some of her past to me :) Remember, one of my favor past time is to guess and rebuild a person's past experience based on their discussion and reaction to certain subject. My bold guess: she liked a guy who is very much so a conservative Christian; because of him, she joined the bible study group (fellowship) to get close to him (or one of the guy that was pursuiting her in college got her in there, both are possibilities); then she realized she had to be very devoted to the religion to be with the guy and she didn't like the fact the guy was so much more devoted to the religion than she is. How intriguing, I love these type of stuffs that provide me some insights of people, one of my favor hobbies. Also, she's saying that the guy should be more understanding and not pursuit a girl if the girl have already say no. Hmm, interesting, based on what I know of her and her sister, I'm sure this type of situation happen to the Sisters several times before. Interesting, indeed. As for her, traveling alone with a male companion is not a problem, does not indicate anything other than they are good friends. (BTW, just want to mention, that she got platium level for American Airline, she made such big deal about it) And also that girls are not that sensitive, if the guy doesn't tell them, they can't guess what the guy's real feeling is. That kinda go against my experience where the girl usually is pretty sensitive about this type of stuff. Maybe I'm just dead wrong about this, though, which happen often :)

It rain outside, I jogged for 2 miles even though it's late at night (10:30pm). It helps me clear my head up and perform self-analysis regarding my emotional state. So far, I think I'm moving in the right direction. I'm slowly removing the love factor from this relationship. Through my more intimate contacts with her (not physical!), I have been able to look at her more clearly and determine my relationship with her will lead to more of my unhappieness if there is too much lust involved. Therefore, I must remove this destructive component and shift the relationship content to be similar to pure friendship (very good friend, similar to that of one of my other female friend). The target is to complete this transformationl by the end of my current life cycle (by September 27th, 2003). Unless unforeseen event took place, this will be the final decision regarding this matter, as of April 16th, 2003. Contingency plan will be formed over the next few months. End of council decision regarding this matter.
posted by HELL at 00:57