Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Just as I thought, even though I made my reservation with her on Thursday (right before I left for Baltimore), she still cancelled on me. Her excuse was that I didn't remind her with numerous pages, after I specifically asked her if she would forget it by today, and she promised she won't. Oh well, I didn't page her regarding the dinner because of this exact reason. I wanted to see she remember it on her conscience, not just because I kept reminding her. And I guess she failed miserably at that, just as I expected. I'm ranking so low on her list of priority, I'm only there on her mind when she needed help with something, but otherwise, I'm far far far from being on her mind. sigh... Only 19 more days to go until I'm done with this. So close, yet still so much more pain to go thru.

Another thing that also piss me off. She had a new background image on her computer, with her playing in the water near a beach at Santa Cruz. Somebody (mostly likely a guy) took a nice picture of her. I wished I was the one that took the pics and yet I'm not. Worst than that, I had never even seen the pics, she won't allow that. Why would I get to share her joy. I'm the dummy she could use as a punch bag when she was sad, someone to listen to her endless complain, the guy with all the resources to help her when she needed, and the one to brush aside as she can enjoy her glory with others. So what the hell am I to her is still the burning question that I think the answer is pretty obvious. Just that my emotional side seen to be the only one that has been oblivious to it. sigh... What a pathatic fool...
posted by HELL at 23:02