Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Well, I'm finally done. My assignment came down today, spend the whole day with her killing mice, buying and installing a range, buying bookshelf, cleaning up after the mice, cleaning up stuff in kitchen, putting bookshelves together, and moving bookshelf in place. sigh, I'm beat, very tire after a hard day's worth of work. Like I said before, if she had heavy duty and dirty stuff to taken care off, she'll remember me. But obviously, the easy stuff such as shopping for furniture and stove, unpacking her precious dolls, and buying fish for dinner, those are just too clean and easy for me :( sigh...

I guess there was one good thing, she did remember to call me and say thank you after she realized that she forgot to thank me before I left. Maybe she finally felt a bit guilty for all my helps of her. But just remember a bad thing, she kinda avoid me putting my hand on her shoulder while we were walking toward the pearl tea place during lunch time. I guess she just doesn't want to give me the wrong impression! Wow, so nice of her, after using me up, she's letting me know that nothing will ever happen between us. Great!!!

I told her I thought about going to Chicago for a small portion of the Christmas break, she did offer to show me around town and even offer for me to stay at her parents' place. I'm not sure about the staying at her place part, but I would love for her to show me around. I even got one of my best friend to pay for the tix if I want to go. But now the question is that do I really want to go, and what are the chance of her going back on her word and give me the "I must spend time with my family" excuse (sadly, the chance is very high, by my account). Damn me. Oh she's going back there for her Thanksgiving break as well, didn't even tell me about it 'til today, even though I was the one that find the tix for her. I'm yet again get brush aside as she spend time with her friends and enjoying every bit of my fruit of hard labor. sigh... (I sigh too much these days : ( )

My friend is right, I'm a "dumb fuck". How else can I explain the fact that sI'm continuously torturing myself after knowing that she has a boyfriend. She never see me past beyond second class friend. And here I am helping her with all these stuffs and then get brush aside like a old useless piece of dumb wood. And I have to act as if nothing is wrong when all her guy friends / boyfriend kept on calling her while I'm working hard on helping her with all that I'm capable of. I'm sure I'll just get the cold shoulder when we're back to work and back to normal realm of life. I am such a pathetic fool. Somebody need to give me a good right hook to wake me up from my pathetic fantasy. sigh...

Alright, time for sleep and another long day of being ignored ahead of me. sigh...


posted by HELL at 00:40