Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Today started off on a sad note already. As I was sleeping and enjoying my dream (whatever it may be), the familiar tone of Beatles' "Yesterday" started playing. As usual, I woke up quickly to that tone and grab the phone to answer her call. She needed the phone # from the tutor needed ad that I send her a few days back. She's on her way to meet the person but forgot to bring the phone #. Well, as innocent as this sound, there is one minor detail that bring more stress to my pathetic life once again. I had told her earlier in the week that she shouldn't go alone to meet the person and I offered my service to her. I know she's not driving and since she actually listen to my advice once in awhile (surprise surprise), I deducted that she must have someone else (one of the other guy) accompany her. Here I am, looking thru craiglist in the middle of night to look for tutoring opportunities for her, sacrificing my sleep, and she never even often a simple thankyou to me. I'm not sure why I do what I do, I had given her my time, effort, patience, self-control, simple satisfaction of life, and had gotten nothing in return. The only thing that I'm barely holding onto is my sanity right now, trying my best not to lose that too. Nothing else matter to me right now except ending my misery.

Well, it'll be the third time I made this claim, I'm going to end this by Christmas. Hopefully third time is a charm for me. Going to continue writing the "To Christine" letter, in preparation for giving it to her along with the Christmas card. One line I should remember to add is "Merry Christmas to you, your parents, sister, and _._!!!" A hidden way of letting her know that I knew about the bf and she should have a long and happy life with him. For the last thing I can do is a gentleman way of separating myself from this mess of last two years. Hopefully, after Christmas break, I'll be once again be a whole, not just a shell of my former self.


Side note: I had made the bet that she will not contact me willfully until we discuss the possibility of dumping her range next saturday. Otherwise, I'll have to do 1000 push-ups. I'm guessing that there is a 90% chance I won't have to worry about the push-ups :(
posted by HELL at 11:56