Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Well, she didn't call me at all during the weekend. I wasn't too happy about that. Spend Saturday with my sister and the kids. My niece was so cute when I ask for a hug :) All because I got her the Christmas gift she wanted. I'm totally spoiling her :) The only bad part about that was I then spend a long time playing grocery shopping game with her. Also went to shop at Costco and Oak ridge mall with my sister.

She called on Monday night, past midnight in Chicago. She sounded tired but still cute and told me that she want to inform me that she's in Chicago. So I chatted with her for awhile 'til she's too sleepy. She said she'll call back tomorrow, we'll see about that. But I'm a bit surprise that she called, I was expecting later day.
posted by HELL at 23:36

 
I got a DVD as a "gag" gift from her, a "Men of Honor" dvd. I really questioned her why the gift. She told me that it's because the movie remind her of me, which I'll never get. I'm still trying to figure that out :(

On the other hand, my friend got me a breathe analyzer as the Christmas gift. It took awhile to get it to work, but I got 0.000% BAC after a large Asahi beer. We'll see how I do when I'm drunk.
posted by HELL at 00:48

 
Well, Christmas dinner done and gift given. I again crumbled under pressure and told her how much the gift card had. She then went up a rampage about how it's too much and she couldn't take it. Told her if it makes her feel better, then just get me a tie (I had only one wearable tie right now). I guess I'll wait 'til tomorrow to see if she accepts the deal or not. I just hate when people don't just graciously accept the gift but give a bunch of lame ass excuse about how they couldn't accept it. The value of a gift is in the eye of the giver, if I think you're worth the gift I got then so be it. If you don't think you deserve the value of the gift then do something to make yourself deserve it. That's all I got to say about this whole thing. Once she does accept the gift, it'll be a huge burden removed from me and I can be free once again...
posted by HELL at 22:52

 
Sick and tire and sleepy, just finished writing the Christmas card:

My dear C _ _ (gaga :))

Thank you for another year of keeping me grounded when I get too excited, for another year of bursting my fantasy bubble when my self-ego was overblown, and for another year of being a Brutally honest friend:). I know I’ll need and enjoy your insult to help keep my two feet on the ground (as long as you clear of insulting my car and most importantly my manliness:)).

Here is a short poem I got from one of my favor blog site.

If one day you feel like crying...Call me.
I don't promise that I will make you laugh,
But I can cry with you. (okay, maybe not the crying part :))

If one day you want to run away.
Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you. (my car is very fast:))

If one day you don't want to listen to anyone...Call me.
I promise to be there for you.
And I promise to be very quiet.

But if one day you call...
And there is no answer...
Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you. (or I broke/lost my cell phone again:))

I hope you enjoy the gift (and a reason for another trip to the shopping mall) and the much awaited LONG vacation away from work. Let me know if the stress relaxation book works.

Merry Christmas to you, your parents and sister, and ..

-Mello Kitty (aka. Adam)

posted by HELL at 00:51

 
Well, the Christmas dinner planned on wed night was moved. So predictable. So we'll see how long the thursday reservation will last before getting cancelled as well. She's probably going to watch the third installment of "Lord of the ring" on Sat, she didn't bother to ask if I want to watch it. Oh well... Too bad for me.

Finally got her Christmas gift - $350 gift card for Burberry for the handbag she wanted and a little book of "100 ways to release stress". I thought it was pretty appropreciate :) Now I'm going to write the first part of the Christmas cards hoping to finish off by tomorrow. Tired, lack of sleep, lack of blood (donated today), and sick, I think this is the worst I felt this year. Hope to recover soon...
posted by HELL at 00:22

 
Well, the girl from craigslist send an email back after recieving my apology letter. She was a bit surprise by my response and decided to continue emailing me, at least for one more time. I'm glad, a step toward the positive direction :)

As for her, she did invite over on Saturday for hotpot and then play mahjong with her friends. I guess I should be happy now that she's involving me more into her life. Always nice to be able to spend time with her. Oh yeah, finally moved the range to landfill, it's OVER. People at work still curious and interested in the story, but I being trying to stop it dead in the track by telling people that she had a boyfriend in Chicago (which is true, right Jack) and that I'm not pursuiting her as a gf.

Tired right now after too much drinking over the weekend and not enough sleep (play mj 'til 5am on sunday morning), so I won't write too much now. Let me just say that I'm more at peace with myself now, regardless how she treats me. Now I just need to get her the christmas gift and card and I'm done for the year:) Christmas dinner is on Wed since she couldn't spare any time with me. Oh well, no surprise there, sigh....
posted by HELL at 22:53

 
Well, well, well. She ask me to dinner tonight and I was surprised. I thought was a nice payback for some of the help I had been offered to her lately. I'm such a fool, it was my late (real late) birthday dinner 'cause she had other things on saturday night. Sure have asked before deciding on where to eat, I would have ask for the Italian restaurant instead of outback steak house. Stupid me, this just serve me right. Sis was right about me being naive and taken advantage of. Time to give up, time to move on, maybe I shouldn't even help her move the range to landfill on saturday. I'm off to snowboarding on sunday, don't care about her. In fact, why should I care about anyone, what had anyone done for me in the last year. Fuck this, hell with the nice guy act, should have been a selfish SOB as I pleased. Life is lot better this way.

BTW, I got a response from the girl that send me a reply to my craigslist ad. Well, she gave me an ear-full 'cause I send her a pic of myself wearing hooter's t-shirt and physical description (like my height and weight). I was surprise by the harsh response to say the least, but I was genuinely intrigue by her view and take to heart of her comment (i went ahead and erased two of my pics on yahoo personal). She gave me a glimpse into how girls view the world, which was vastly different than guys.
posted by HELL at 21:41

 
Not much response from the personal ad side, but I'll continue to work on it.

So she had her holiday get-together party on saturday. She invited few friends over to have pot luck. Then it's off the gift exchange and I got some good marshmallow candies. The next thing, of course, is the game. My karaoke revolution and dance dance revolution was a big hit. Everybody enjoyed, lot of fun :) The only sad part was that the chicken wings we were preparing got rain out in the grill outside.

So the next day I went over to pick up the jacket she got for me from Banana Republic (i of course paid for it) and the grill. She had me stay to sing karaoke with her. Since I can't sing and refuse to do so, I got a great personal concert of her singing (she was in the choir at school). She did had good voice and love to sing. She really enjoy and addicted to the game. I'm glad she liked. We also play some DDR as a way of getting her some exercise :) Afterward, she had me stay for dinner and cooked the remaining chicken wings. It was a good meal, she even gave me some more of her delicious blue berry cheesecake left from the party. Oh the sad part was that she shown me some clothes she got on saturday morning from BR (obviously with another guy friend) and she mentioned that the male clothes are for her "friend". Yup, that's how she refer to her boyfriend.

I also saw some pics online of her and her boyfriend from the Thanksgiving break. So I now know who he is, what he does, what they do, more or less how they got to know each other, his cell #, and his body type. The only thing I don't know is how the both them see the relationship between the two. Is this a long term relationship? Considering they're still together after she's two and half year out of college, I would say yes. Considering the way she being muted on the whole subject and never once mention about him, I would I'm confused. She's sending mixed signal and I don't know what the hell is going on.

After another complain by me about how I'm spending Christmas holiday by myself, she invited me to Chicago yet again. She told me to tell her early if I'm going so she could "adjust her social schedule". I asked my co-worker, he doesn't think I should go. I got a earful from my sis about how I being letting this drag on for way too long. She's definitely right, I need to make a decision soon and just stick to it. So I'm leaning strongly toward not going but will wait 'til talking to my other friend before making the final decision. Personally, I don't want to go 'cause it's only going to make it harder for me to let go as planned. But then again, I don't want to have any regret. So hard to decide. Damn...

Oh yeah, wonder if I finally will get my b-day dinner this saturday. She mention that we could do it then but not sure if it'll get postponed like this last week (one of the lame excuse for sunday cancellation was that she had too much leftover and want to finish it first). Right now, I'm just not holding on to too much hope and thinking that if it happens, it'll be a great surprise for me :) sigh... Sis is right, I need to get off my butt and take care this within the year.
posted by HELL at 00:51

 
She was very happy after a relaxing Thanksgiving break. We spend some quality time at work together. And she's having a holiday party this weekend. Of course I was invited but I'm also required to bring bunch of stuff for her. Oh well, I guess things that I must do to remain as friends with her.

The great thing is that I actually got someone responding to my ad posted in craigslist. Looks like at least there is possibilities out there as long as I try. These days I felt lot more relaxing, no longer have any illusion about this relationship. It'll be nice to get a glass of nice red wine, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. I can't wait 'til when she have to introduce her boyfriend to her friends here in California. I want to see how the other guys react 'cause I had no idea if they knew of his existence or not. You know, not everybody in the world is nosy as me, nor do they have to skill or audacity I had to find out everything about this person :)

BTW, the metrosex quiz was a big hit among my friends, multiple emails regarding the topic :)

Oh yeah, I now know her bf's phone #. What should I do, call him, crank call him, or just ignore it.
posted by HELL at 23:07

 
Didn't really do anything over the weekend, just some sleep and more TV.

She did called me yesterday to chat. Told me about how she spend a lot of money shopping for herself over the last few days. She did spend some money buying stuff for other people, but highly doubt she got anything for me. So there is another bet, 300 push-ups for anything she brings back from Chicago for me. Well, she didn't need me to pick her up from the airport, so another bet won :( We'll see how the rest of the years turn out.

Just posted my personal ad on craigslist, let's see if i have better luck there.
posted by HELL at 22:36