Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Can't believe I'm still in Singapore, I would have gone back to the States a long time ago if it wasn't because of her. My fear came true when I found out that she's the one to come over to Singapore to replace me. I knew it 'cause she's the only one that had not been send out to the field yet and this's a good opportunity for her. But it's a horrible situation for me, I had to let her spend time with her favor co-worker while I'm working my butt off. She complains about being tire and hungry so I send her out to have dinner at nice restaurants while I'm working past midnight and skipping dinner. And yet she never even appreciate all the stuff I do for her. I got real tire and fraustrated with myself and her last thursday and had a big confrontation with her. I'm just being my stupid self again, always putting her need and wishes before anything else. What the hell is wrong with me. sigh.... I got to change that. To my surprise though, the confrontation didn't really have a last effect as she probably feel a bit lonely here so she decided to forgive me rather quickly.
 
Went out to shop with her this weekend, she bought tons of stuff for various people, but of course I am not one of them. In fact, I'm pretty much a nobody to her. When she gets a phone call, she basically just waive me off so I'd to go walk in circles 'til she's done. Not even a "sorry" or anything close to that. sigh... Feel more like a servant. And she always makes plan w/o considering me. She'll call up her Europe trip roommate and arrange to hang out with her instead of me. What can I said, I'm a nobody, like I mentioned in previous post before, I'm just little higher the janitors, not by that much either.  Another sign to prove my theory, this morning she was in a good mood, and I ask if she could share. Of course the answer is "no". But  when I started trying to guess, she told me it's kinda work related but still won't tell me. Considering all the info I shared with her, can't believe she won't even share her joy :( sigh.... Even worse, she's always happy and smile and cute with her other coworkers, but with me, sigh... it's always being 99% negative emotion. I'm always getting hit, yell at, frown upon, make fun of... the list goes on and on... And had she ever done anything nice for me out of her own heart, w/o me always nagging her... don't really think so. So why the hell do I do so much for her, it makes no sense what so ever!!! I'm the biggest idiot in this world, sigh...

posted by HELL at 03:48