Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
So today was THE DAY after more than two and half years since I met her. We actually had a discussion about my feeling for her!

So here is how it started. We went to lunch as usual, started talking about the fiasco relating to her at work. She's complaining about how the wife had been dragging her name thru the mud, making up stories about how she's been a slut and worse yet, some coworker actually accuse her of trying to seduce her. sigh... Just like I mentioned to her yesterday, there'll be some tough days ahead. Well, at one pause, she asked me since we're having a heart-to-heart discussion, if she could ask me a question. Of course I told her to go ahead and asked. She asked me if I "like like her"? My answer "yes, at one point in time". And then I went on to tell her that I stopped that after my last birthday, which was the day I intended to anyway. Can't let her know that I'm so weak and it took much longer than that for me to finally see the light and started moving on. sigh... As everybody knows, I AM A FOOL. I told her that since I have lots of friends and quite a few female friends, it's sometime difficult for me to separate friendship from other stuffs. We didn't dwell on this topic too much, but I did asked her why didn't she confront me earlier, and she told me she was "scare". Am I really that scary or just that she's afraid of losing me as a friend and all my support for her? I think it's the second. SIGH... At least this marks the official end of my pursuit of her. My attitude toward her won't change dramatically, and nor would she treat me any better (maybe a little more trust). But the way I see her will change from a lady to just a friend. For example, when she asked me if she has a good body, I told her that she had a pair of long legs, thin asian body, and the breast is too small (of course I got hit in the arm). Looks like this should turn into a fine friendship (hopefully it wasn't a Floydian slip when I typed relationship instead of friendship). This conversation help to get me finally over the hump and moving on, help her break that barrier that she's afraid to cross with me, and help us clear the last huddle in continuing our friendship. Overall, it's not that bad of a day at all. She even invited me to go with her family to wine country after I complained about how I missed this year's July 4th wine festival. So let the age of true friendship begin. Wow, I'm actually not that depress, although still a bit sad and depress over the fact that she's having a relationship with a married coworker. Oh well, like I told her, I'm still by her side whenever she needed me anyway.

On other news, I planned my coworker's bachelor party with the best men and his friends. We're going to LV on the 28th. Let all the craziness begin soon :) Oh yeah, also ran into the wife and her colleagues that had been bad mounthing her. I felt a bit uncomfortable, especially since one of the coworker (he has no clue what's going on) mentioned her name, I think I can feel the air was froze for a second there. Wow.... Good thing the wife seem to be under much better control :)

I guess D-chick is right, this will be a drama week for me, but atleast it's not bad for her. And I'm happy as long as she's happy with the guy. Well, it's a beginning of a new era for me, should've cheer to that, but I guess I'll have to wait 'til the weekend first :) (And hopefully K-chick isn't mad at me for some reason, she's probably just busy, that's all)

posted by HELL at 00:27