Everybody always said ''til the day hell freezes over''. But has it ever freeze over? Contact me if you want to discuss anything hellfreezeover666@yahoo.com . Not that anybody actually read this blog. I'm just as lonely as ever. From a pathetic fool in HELL!!!

 
Why am I so up in arm about the cancellation of lunch? It's so typical of her anyway. She never considers my feeling, so what's new? Sigh... It's the theme of the this blog for the last two years, I just need to stop doing it over and over again.

posted by HELL at 01:49

 
She's back from her vacation at Chicago, I think. Not really sure if she really did went back to Chicago or actually went to hang out with the husband. Either way, shouldn't matter too much to me. It's the usual her anyway, cancel on a pre planned lunch again. I guess I shouldn't even feel anything anymore since it's sort of run of the mill stuff for her to cancel on me anyway. Well, just give me 'til end of the year, after the trip to Chicago, if nothing improves. then she'll have one less friend, and she better pray that she won't have one more enemy.

posted by HELL at 23:22

 
Well, I ended up not having breakfast with her on Tuesday morning. But that was minor problem compared to what happen the rest of the week.

So on Wedensday night, while I was busy working, got a frentic phone call from her. She told me that the wife is outside of her house and she's hearing bang coming from the front windows of the house. She was obviously scared and wanted me there ASAP. So I rushed out and started driving toward her place. Then I got another phone call from her and she told me that the wife had been throwing rocks at her house. She was panicking and wanted to call the cops. I told her to just hold on and wait for me to get there, and don't open the door under any circumstance 'til I'm there. I got to the house and saw the wife outside, went up to her and ask why she was there. (I didn't really have any choice but to confront her and try to resolve the issue.) She told me the husband's mom was sick and that she wanted to talk to the husband. I told her the husband wasn't there and that he may still be traveling. She told me that she heard from a coworker that the husband is already back and since he didn't move his car, he must'd went to C's house. So I told her it didn't matter whether the husband was there or not, she had no right to harass C and she need to just calm down. She wanted to make sure the husband wasn't there before she leaves. Well, I was out there in the cold, argueing with her and at the same time trying to calm C down (yeah, poor old me). Finally after more than half hour of going back and forth (in the cold for me, since I was wearing short sleeves), we finally agreed to have me going to her house and checked to show the husband wasn't there . I checked and he wasn't. So I got back down stair and escorted the wife out of C's garage while she's screaming words like "slut" at C. Sigh... The things I do for a friend. Do I really love her, I don't really know, but I know this, I still want to see her happy, and as long as that's the case, I'll stand by her as always. Later that night, I went over to her house again to just make sure the wife didn't return.

For the next two days, C had been quite paranoid with the wife. We tried to ignore her as she shout at us when we walked by her. I escorted C to pretty much anywhere and just in general making sure that she felt safe and sound. That night, she went and had dinner with the husband. Of course since my ranking on the priority list, the only thing I was allowed to do was went over to her house again to check on any possible spy. Well, they did treat me to lunch at the usual Japanese restaurant, which I was quite reluctant to go but she really insisted on me going. I know she wanted me to talk to the husband and think of a way to resolve the situation. But I felt somewhat uncomfortable about that and just didn't think it's my place to make suggestions to the husband. Especially since I wan't supposed to know quite a few things with their relationship.

On Friday night, she and the husband and some other coworkers were going to have dinner together. Well, as we walked to my car, she followed us and were cursing at us with the usual stuff, all the way to the fourth floor of the garage. I was impressed by the fact that she never even ran out of breath :P And after we went to get some pearl tea, as usual, I escorted C back to her car. And then follw her all the way to Castro street to make sure she got to the lunch place without being followed. I went on to my friend's bday party at Miyake and had a blast. I had four rounds of sake bomb and proved to everyone that I can still drink :) After the nice party and some chatting with friends, I did the usual, went to check on her house. Not so surprisingly, I found the wife sitting in her car, waiting for C to come home. I think that she saw me driving by. I warned C and told her to becareful. Since C was going to watch a movie with the husband, I decided to check on the house again after she's done with that. Around 1am in the morning, I went over to her house, walking around the house and up and down the street in the rain with an umbrella, checking to make sure the wife is not around. So I waited 'til she came home and got her mail before I left. Then I got cut off 'cause the husband called and she didn't called back 'til like 2:15am. Apparantly the wife was threaten to burn down her house and was at home burning the husband's books.

It gets even worse, C left for Chicago this weekend. To my relieve, she'll only be here couple of days in the next two months so the chance of confrontation is slim between her and the wife. But for me, I had work with the wife and her group next week :( Even worse, according to C's text messages, the wife is accusing me of pushing her. Well, there was physical contact when I escorted her out of C's garage. So if she wanted to held me liable for that, then we can see each other in court. And apparantly she had threaten C's life. Sigh... She needs some sort of consuling. Otherwise, this thing will exploded and somebody will get hurt. This is where I really really HATE the husband for being such a wimp. There must be someone he could call upon to help the wife thru this situation. Instead, the only thing he does was wanting to continue dating C and avoid the responsibility of keeping his wife in check. I'm so fraustrated at this and there's nothing I can really do about it. I didn't want to tell C or confront the husband since that'll put C on a tough spot and putting more stress on her, which is something I don't want to see. But yet, I'd been carrying the responsibility of keeping everythings in check, coming out with resolutions for the situation, doing the nightly house call, while the husband is enjoying a budding relationship. He's enjoying the reward while I'm getting the penalty of his infidelity. Sigh... Why am I doing this???

Dad's 60th bday is coming up and I had to get gifts. So I recruited the help of D. We went to shop yesterday and was a bit surprised that she actually knew the sale of Tiffany's. It was quite a nice day where we just chatted about everything, from my lastest stalking incidents to the history of our families. We talked about our friends, our families, and our vision of the future. I teased her on the shopping and she teased me on the facial and other stuff. I think she was a bit upset that I had to call my sis up to confirm that the gift she had choosen is okay. Of course I apologized and explain right of way the reason, which was because the gift was supposedly from me and Sis so I had to check with her first. I really do enjoy spending time with her 'cause it's just quite relaxing, as long as I don't express my admiration of her, I can talk about anything I want. Though I'm tempted from time to time when her version of a good bf come up and I felt that I fit that mode quite well. If I didn't have the problem of C, I really would had consider taking a shot at it. But since she knew about the whole C situation quite well (she and Sis knew the most), I couldn't in good conscience suggesting the idea right now. Especially since she just broke up with her ex and still kinda recover from that. Our relationship is quite weird but at the same time we just knew each other so well and always had fun just hanging out together. Only if we could goto Europe together, that would've been a blast. Now, I'm limited to plan for ski trips this winter. Well, at least I'm allow to do something with her :) I also know this, if it wasn't for her, I would be in lot more stress. Thanks to her, I'm actually enjoying my weekends a bit more :)

posted by HELL at 14:59

 
Now that's new for me. I was going to get pearl tea and then shoe shopping with her. Then as I was driving out of the parking garage, I saw the wife's car to the right. After hearing all the stories that she told me about her being stalked by her, I paid extra attention. When I drove out of work, she started following us. I told her and she started getting upset. We decided to go on to get pearl tea as we planned. After we got the pearl tea and went back to car, we still saw the wife's car circling around us, so she decided to call the husband. Well, she complained a bit but then again, what could the husband do. Eventually, the wife left us as we pull out of the parking lot. As we went on to do some shoe shopping, she started crying a bit. Sigh... I do feel bad for her, that's another check on the growing list I dislike of the husband. This should never happen if he had dealt with the situation in a more much adult way.

Well, as for the shoe shopping, the good thing is that I did get what I wanted, even though she didn't look at any shoes for herself. The bad thing is that she didn't feel too well and we had to abandon the plan for dinner and sent her home directly. However, one thing is taken care of, I got her a nice BR (where else) jacket, off-white, very cute, and can be wear to work anywhere. I'm just glad that she liked and more importantly, she's happy that she got it :) At least I don't have to worry about what to get her for Christmas any more, all taken care of. Well, I think I should go to sleep early today, still have to pick her up tomorrow morning 'cause she wanted to have breakfast.

posted by HELL at 21:55

 
Hmm, just thinking, it would be nice to make a little bet on what excuse she'll tomorrow to cancel the shoe shopping trip she promised today or yesterday (since it's 12am already). Let's see

1. Too much work so she had to work late and obviously won't have time to go.
2. Spend too much money on shopping already this past weekend.
3. Too tired.
4. Some other plans involving other friends, like had to have dinner with them.
5. Too scare to go or leave the car at work.
6. Got to go home and wait for phone calls.
7. Just don't feel like it.

Hmm, actually come to think of it, she does have lots of excuses that she could use, but the point is that she'll just choose one that suits her to cancel on me, as always. Even by the best of luck that we did actually get to go, it'll be like 15 minutes in and out. I mean I'm not sure if it's worth it at all. And with my bad luck these days, I'm sure something bad will happen. For example, I even got a parking ticket for going to take a traffic school exam. Of course, even though she's there, she'll never pay for it. Now, if she offers to pay, that would be totally shocking. So, please tell me again, why the hell am I a friend of this lady??? Let's try to think about that a bit, even though I know the answer is that I'm the biggest idiot in the world.

Oh yeah, one more thing to add. I was saying on Monday that she was nice to bring him lunch. And she replied that it was because he never asked her to pay for anything. And I'm just thinking, wait a minute, I always treat her so super nicely and never asked her to pay for anything, but obviously I'm far far lower than him on the priority list. Remember, he tops the list, I'm like 2179 on the list, somewhere between the co-worker working next to her cube and the wife. And this is after almost 3 years worth of hard work, I must be real bad on this whole inter-personal skill thingy. Sigh.......

posted by HELL at 01:02

 
Well, she originally promised that she was going to buy shoes with me on Monday. But since she's all shop out today, buying new handbag, ponchos, and clothes, I guess there will be no shopping today, nor will there be lunch, cause of hotpot, and I doubt there will be any pearl tea or any other things that she promised to do with me.

posted by HELL at 21:19

 
Why am I stupid and always falling for the same thing over and over again??? I mean, seriously, am I just the biggest idiot ever know to mankind or what? Should've known that she'll change her mind again, especially since she didn't say anything yesterday. I mean even if she mentioned that "we'll see" on Saturday morning does not say anything about if the schedule for Sunday afternoon will stay. Actually, these days, the likely chance is that it will fall thru since for some bizzare reason my ranking on the priority list seems to move even lower. Sigh... since it's the same usual story of her braking her promise, no point in going on to describe in detail :( The only good thing (if I can consider that a good thing) is that she did tell her boss that she needs to be back in Chicago before Dec. 19th, which means that she actually remember that I'm suppose to be there that time and she's thinking about honoring it. Well, from my latest experience, I don't think I should keep my hope that high. Still a 60% chance, I think, that she'll come up with some lame excuses about her being under too much stress and end up cancelling it :( sigh... I would love see her break some promises to other people but seems like I'm the only one that she'll do that too. I guess I should be very proud of that. Maybe that's what I have to remind myself the next time she does the same thing again.

posted by HELL at 18:34

 
Sometime I really question myself if it's worth it to be her friend. It's the same usual story, I'm been remind how low I am on her priority list. She offered to help me get some medicine for my fever, then called right before lunch to tell me that she had to go out with her friends. I understand that she need to see her other friends. Didn't say anything and still being very nice and supportive of her. Then I paged her late in afternoon 'cause she had promised to go get pearl tea, her developed film, and possibly some medicine for me. Well, she didn't return my page. Then I had to tell her that I'm just going to go by myself 'cause I can't wait, need to pick up my car from the dealer later that day. I was not happy that she dissed me twice in the same day, especially since I'm sick. Just don't have the patience to deal with her like I used to. Since she doesn't have the time to pick up the pic from me, I offered to drop it off at her place tonight. After my basketball game (which the Warriors lost, and Murphy really sucks), I called and left a voicemail, then sms her to ask if I can drop by. No response so far, guess either she just doesn't have the phone by her side or she's mad at me again and ignoring my phone call. Sigh... Either way, I'm tired and not really in that great of a mood to deal with her antics right now. All I know is that if she doesn't try to contact me by Sunday (which we were supposedly take the traffic school exam together), then the picture is going to the garbage can or the wife. I'm sure I'll be on the wife's good side again if I gave her these pictures and advise her a little (I'm feeling very evil right now). Oh, there's a little story about my run in with the wife today. I saw her in the hallway, instead of just passing me by and completely ignoring me like usual. She started mumbling some stuff in cantonese. I'm not quite sure, but I think she's accusing me of having an affair with C. That'll be funniest thing I heard in the last few months. Me and C, I don't think that's possible even if I'm the last person on Earth and the humandkind depends on us to live on. At this point, I don't really worry about it so much. I'm already conditioned to go thru the same thing, she let me know how low my priority is, I'm not happy, I get mad at her, she gets mad at me, I make adjustment and apologize, then she just enjoy life as usual.

At least it was very nice of D to send me a get well soon greeting. It's much more relaxing to be her friend than C's. The only thing is that she kept telling me that C is bad news for me. I know that she's just concern of my well being but I guess I just can't let go so easily. I'm the BIGGEST IDIOT in the WORLD.

posted by HELL at 23:35

 
She called me late tonight 'cause she still worry about the freaky wife. The wife had been stalking her for the last few days and kept mumbling something bad in cantonese every time she passed by her cube. Sigh... She's worry so I had to kinda escort her to different places. She called to ask two questions:

1. Should she push him to file the application sooner? I told her that she shouldn't do that 'cause she'll feel guilty about the fact that he's breaking up his marriage just for her. I wanted her to just wait for him volunteerily file for the divorce. That way, he's doing it 'cause he doesn't want to be in his old relationship anymore, not because he wanted to start another relationship with her.

2. Had she been too passive toward him? Oh yeah, she had been. She felt guilty, uncertain, and even little bit scare about the whole thing, that's why she hadn't been able to stand up and speak her mind like she used to in front of me. She couldn't really show the side of her that I'm used to seeing 'cause she's afraid of having no idea how he'll react. I told her that it'll take time for her to build up the courage, and time is something that they still have some to spare. So just let herself naturally summon up the courage to face him and tell him how she feels.

Sigh... Why am I her relationship advisor? :( Sigh... I really need to see a therapist or something. Well, at least I should see a doctor since I'm feeling body ache and cold right now, a sign of incoming cold/fever. Hope my body is strong enough to fight it off.

posted by HELL at 23:49

 
At least I know that D always appreciate my company. She's always being pretty good in letting me know how great of a time we have together. But she also make sure that I know there's no chance between us. I guess I just wasn't her type. Plus, she knew too much about my C trouble, to the point that she just doesn't think I can devote myself to another relationship right now or even in the near future. The sad thing is that I actually agree with her on the C part. Sigh... How pathetic can I be??? But at least I do have one good friend that I can share my pain with. I really should thank her, maybe it's time to think about a gift for her.

Well the wife is getting weirder these days at work. She's being walking by C's cube quite often and always mumbling some words in cantonese relating to slut or bitch. And she's driving C nuts with that antic. C is now scare of her and afraid that she's doing things to sabotage her work. Even with mails, C would prefer I send them out somewhere else rather than work. I didn't hear what she said, but it's quite bad that I kept on running into her while with C. Hmm, looks like the wife had become a stalker for C. Things is getting more interesting, especially with the filing for divorce coming up. Only if I wasn't involve with this whole thing at all, I would've give a good laugh and keep it in the journal as a future story to tell. Too bad that I being drag into this and the wife hates my gut. Only because I'm working to help out C instead of her. Sigh... This should never involve me at all. I'm just an innocent bystander that got drag in only because I'm trying to be a gentleman. Sigh... That'll teach me a lesson...

posted by HELL at 01:28

 
Well, there goes that. I guess I won't be making that Europe trip after all. D told me that some of her friends convinced her that it may not be a good idea for a guy and a girl to spend time in a foreign country for a week. Hmm, who are those friends, I would like to talk to them, in private (knuckle cracking). Guess there won't be a chance for me to confess my love for her now:p But no matter, I'll still have her as a good friend, sort of in a weird way. At this stage in my life, considering how mess up my personal love life is, I don't mind just having a friend I can talk to and can be super relax in front of her :)

C came back and immediately created a scene for me at work. She was talking about her trip and remembered the talk she had with her ex. Her ex was saying that he'll be lucky to find someone half as good to him as she was. The thing that immediately came to my mind was that she must've treated him like a thousand times better than me. If I find someone who treat me half as bad as she does, I'll still be used and abused like a piece of used rug. Sigh... I'm always doing things for her and I wonder how often does she ever stop and think about all that I had done. I had been hoping that someday she'll show her appreciations, but those moment are really few and far between. Well, at least she treated me to lunch. That's a first in like 6 months. But it's okay, I already recognize my place with her long time ago. No point in continue to dwell on this any more. With some help of fast driving and/or jogging in the cold dark night, I should regain my calmness.

Why is it that I'm always more optimistic with everything that's not C-related. Now, only if I can deal with C-related issue in a such a patient manner. Sleepy right now, will do more update tomorrow. I hope.

posted by HELL at 23:24